Preparing for a new sibling!

Wah tajuk!
Oh jangan terkejut ye kawan2, we're yet to have another baby, just not now! Errr nextyear maybe?!(ihiks, ada hati jugak tu!)...
Sepatutnya title tu ditulis begini -> "Preparing the firstborn for a new sibling!", haaa baru betul kan?!

Someone asked me to write about this, and I still remember when I was pregnant with Raziqh, I did requested the same thing from Murni, cuma version-nya sedikit berbeza sebab I tanya tentang 'cara memupuk kasih abang/kakak pada si adik(selepas kelahiran)'. And now is my turn to give secebis idea atau panduan, starting with since we're still pregnant, hope it's gonna help!

The process of preparing our firstborn for a new sibling may vary from one to another, as we should consider his age, his interest towards baby, his acceptance, his behavior/character and etc. Pun begitu, rata2nya sama saja, sebab fokus utama kita ialah untuk meyakinkan si abang/kakak bahawa kehadiran adik bukan sebagai pesaing, sedikit pun tak akan menjejaskan kasih sayang kita buatnya, that's it!

Untuk enrty ni, cerita pasal persiapan sebelum baby lahir...

1. introduce - 'tak kenal maka tak cinta', so perkenalkan! In my case, I pregnant lagi masa Rafiqh baru 11bulan, nak kata dia langsung tak faham tentang 'adik' pun tak, tapi nak kata dia sangat faham pun tak jugak! Kinda complicated but being me I never ever underestimate him, so the very 1st step of introducing him to his new sibling is by telling him a 'story' that having a little baby will give us so much fun! Though you might think he can't understand, but I believe Rafiqh is super-clever! Since the 1st day I knew I was pregnant, at least once a day I(and myLove) told him about me carrying a baby in me, dari perut flat(tak flat mana pun, hakhak) sampai laa besar gedabak, tiap2 hari ulang cakap benda yang sama, disebabkan dia masih kecil dan masih tak boleh bercakap I tak ada kesukaran untuk bersoal-jawab dengan dia. Dia lebih banyak mendengar dan menerima 'gambaran2' bahawa adik tu kawan, adik tu comel, adik tu best dll. Lagipun Rafiqh ni sejak baby lagi dia dah menunjukkan minat terhadap baby/budak lain, lebih mudahlah pendekatan nak approach dia untuk terima someone new in our family. Tapi kalau the firstborn tu dah besar(lets say 3-4YO), kiranya dah pandai bercakap, kita beri 'ruang' untuk dia sendiri berminat nak bercerita atau bersoal-jawab tentang adik...

2. merasai 'kewujudan' adik -bila baby dah makin banyak bergerak, I invited him to 'play' with the baby, lets him feel the baby's movements, suruh dia nyanyi ka tepuk2 ka panggil baby ka hapa2 sajalah. Dia pasti gembira dan excited bila baby mula bagi response. Same goes with the baby's stuffs, bagi ja dia main dengan barang2 baby sambil2 tu ambil peluang untuk bercerita lagi pasal adik. Slowly kita buat dia rasa teruja dengan kehadiran adik...

3. sepanjang kehamilan, bila tak sihat sebab morning sickness ka hujung2 kehamilan dah tak larat ka, don't ever mentioned that we're sick because of the pregnancy, but simply tell him that we're just not feeling well(don't put any negative image towards the pregnancy).

4. untuk mempersiapkan dia pada lack of attention pulak, I just trying not to attend his needs cepat2, cuba lengah2kan sikit untuk ajar dia agar lebih berdikari dan sabar. Kalau dia menangis, I tak terus terkam tengok, sebaliknya cuba sooth dia dengan kata2 dulu, sambil tu teruskan dengan kerja yang I dok buat. So that bila adik dah lahir, kalau I lambat penuhi keinginan dia pun dia tak kesah dah. Dia tak blame adik cause dia tahu sejak adik tak ada lagi mama memang dah gitu, lembap! Ada setengah orang pulak sebelum adik lahir si ibu pulun sehabis mungkin layan the firstborn tiptop service, apa saja kerenah anak tu akan diturut dengan harapan kononnya nak tebus rasa bersalah nanti tak boleh layan gitu dah. Personally I don't agree with that. Lagipun tak ada istilah 'bersalah' pun dalam hal ni, kita menunaikan tanggungjawab kita untuk both kids, so tak timbul soal siapa lebih siapa kurang. Kalau takut nanti ada rasa bersalah, don't get pregnant at the first place, senang kan?!

5. sayang adik, tak sayang abang - hal ni sangat perlu diberi perhatian, kita mungkin berhati2 tapi orang lain mungkin tak sensitif dalam soal ni. Masa I preggy dulu, ramai ja yang selamba kata kat Rafiqh "nanti adik lahir, ayah mama tak sayang Rafiqh dah" bla3, jangan ambil mudah, kita kena cepat bertindak, kita mungkin tak boleh sound that person kan sebab niatnya mungkin nak bergurau je tapi kita boleh cepat2 assured our kid that "mama sayang Rafiqh, mama sayang adik jugak!". Jangan biarkan minda anak2 kita ni diracuni pihak2 lain!

6. cemburu - ada budak cemburu bila tengok ayah dan mamanya pegang baby lain kan? Actually it's normal, almost all kids will give the same strong reactions at first, cuba bawa dia ke persekitaran yang ada baby, kalau boleh kita pi spend masa with family who has a baby so that we will be able to hold the baby, lets him play with the baby, slowly he will get the idea of what it will be like to have a new baby around...

Ok, tu je kot. Mommies out there yang ada teknik lain, meh2 kita share!